Sunday, August 9, 2015

Saved by Grace

Last Monday was a bad day around here. I mean epically awful. A terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day. Everyone cried. Everyone yelled. It isn't that unusual except that most of the time we can get through a tantrum or two and move on. I take a breather, and everyone eats and we read some stories and are able to salvage the rest of the day.

Not this day. It was non-stop. The children and I just passed around this angry, upset, awfulness all day. As soon as one person calmed down, another would start.

There are a lot of theories out there about why this happens, but I don't really care why - I want to know how I can fix it. Psychological and metaphysical theories aren't so helpful with that part.

9:30am saw me sucking deep breaths of fresh air as I sat on my porch and read my scriptures. Then I was on my knees by my bed praying as hard as I know how. And you know what? The BadDay did not quit. I was still tense, the kids were still always five minutes away from a meltdown. In those moments the only thing I could do was react as calmly as I could and keep breathing.

Looking back, the only thing I know for sure is that through it all I was not alone. I felt the presence of God lifting me up just enough to keep my nose above the proverbial water and no more. I was not saved FROM my day - I was saved IN my day. We survived it, but it was purely on the Grace of Jesus Christ.

This is why I am a Christian. I love the doctrine of Divine Justice for the evils in our world that go unpunished, and the promise of Redemption for the sinner, and the comfort that His Love can heal all broken hearts. But all of that is not enough for me. I need the everyday, personal connection with Deity. I need to be saved by His Grace. Not just once, when I accept Him as my Lord - But hourly, when I accept Him as my Friend. My religion has to be woven through the whole tapestry of my life, and not something I tack on as a comforting afterthought when someone dies.

And I can guarantee you will have this day. This monumentally awful day. You may never be an eight months pregnant stay-at-home mom of five small children at the end of a hot August. But we all have this day. And we have it more than once.

And when that BadDay hits I give you all the sympathy I have. Sometimes just having a shoulder to cry on will be enough. And I'm happy to offer you that. But there will be BadDays when even that does not help. And I hope that you will reach out the the only One who can truly help - and choose to be saved by His Grace, again and again and again.


Adrienne said...

way too many of these days lately. love you so much and thank you for always being a listening ear when I need it

Melissa said...

This is a really wonderful post, Lindsay. Thank you for sharing it!