#4

Once there was a little girl, who had a little curl, 

right in the middle of her forehead. 

When she was good, she was very good indeed. 

But when she was bad she was horrid.

- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

This is Child #4. 

 She shines.

She is so full of life it shoots out of her in sparks and rays and beams. When I was pregnant with her I was praying to know how to prepare and what to expect from the next little life to join us. The answer that I got was very specific: "This child will be different in ways you can not imagine." With an introduction like that I knew we were in for quite a ride.

I have not been disappointed.

The majority of the time she is delightful. But this past year has been hard for us. Two is always a rough age, and her personality made it especially difficult. I don't always know how to handle her. When she gets upset, she is hard to calm down. Even if I just let her cry it out, she can sit in her bed and cry for an hour and then be on edge for the rest of the day. I can not always anticipate what will set her off. And she has recently been diagnosed with Celiac like her father and brother, so she spent much of the past year not feeling well.

I tried every trick I know to avoid tantrums, screaming and whining. Nothing was working. I can not stop that child from being upset if she has a mind to. So I gave up. I decided the only thing I can do is to try and tip the scales. I tried to make her laugh at least once a day (and we had been weeks without hearing her laugh). I chased her and tickled her and sang more songs. I drew out the happy times as long as possible, knowing that I needed to save up her smiles to help me get through the screams.

I wasn't expecting it to change her behavior, but it has. She is happier, more confident, less clingy and does not have nearly as many bad days. I can't stop her from fighting with her sisters or getting into things she shouldn't. But I can make sure she has fun games to play and lots of hugs. I should have realized earlier that she is very good at reflecting the emotions going on around her, and made sure she had plenty of positive ones to choose from.

She turned three in November, and I have been worried. Our experience has been that three is harder than two. And she has been our hardest two year old. But so far things are just getting better. She is old enough now to do so many things herself that she can be as independent as she has been fighting to be. And I am enjoying this sweet season of spending lots of time with my little firecracker.

We have this ongoing battle about pants. She hates them. And she hates that I make her wear them. Our compromise is that she can wear just a skirt at home but when we go out in the 10 degree weather she has to wear pants. At her three-year checkup she got a flu shot, and she had to take off her leggings. I told her she did have to get the shot but she did not have to put the leggings back on. So she let the nurse give her the shot with no fussing at all.

And the next week we had to go back because she had had an ear infection for several days. The nurse and the doctor both commented on her outfit - a very typical bright patterned shirt, non-matching striped skirt and zebra striped leggings. They both asked her if she dressed herself and told her she looked nice. I find it hilarious that they think I EVER get to pick her clothes.

In about fifteen years her insistence on wearing short skirts with nothing underneath and covering her arms and legs with bad art is going to be a lot less cute. (Yes, I give her pens and let her write all over herself. It washes off. Not even worth trying to stop.)