Domestic Enemies of the Religious Mom

So I love this blog, rantsfrommommyland.com.  And they've had a series of "Domestic Enemies" posts written by different kinds of moms, talking about the different challenges they face.  I love them all, and it is nice to think about how my life is so different and yet so similar to so many people.  

They don't run those posts anymore, but I wrote one of my own.  Stuff I've been thinking about for a while, especially since it is election season (election year? election every-single-year?).

We are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and we are very active in our congregation, so my experience is colored by that, but I think that it is probably the same for a lot of people.  Also, it is pretty impossible to offend me - and I'd love to hear what you think.

Domestic enemies of the religious mom

The meetings – Any mother who has tried to take their child out in public knows that it is daunting.  But I think it is important that they learn how to behave in different settings, so we continue to sit through the service even though nobody is really being edified, uplifted and spiritually filled right now.  We’ll get there.  They are learning, and these are important life skills – how to sit quietly, how to make sure you are not disturbing the people around you and yes, how to listen politely to boring people.  I’d much rather teach them here in church, surrounded by people who are trying to learn about forgiveness, than say, the first time I try to take them to the symphony.

Yeah, we look like
 that all the time.
Except the kids have
their fingers in their noses.

The ladies -  I think every church has its passel of older ladies.  Most of the time it is lovely to have so many extra grandmothers for my children, but they all love to give me advice.  Mostly advice I could do without.  Did you know if I raise my arms above my head while pregnant I’ll wrap the baby’s cord around his neck?  And that it is my own fault if my child is a picky eater? Also, I should be planning ahead more, then I could make sure the children are all the gender I want.  Who knew?

"Please bless Mommy to
stop being such a baby."

The volunteering – I put in a lot of hours volunteering at church. We’re talking A LOT.  And since it is church, I feel morally obligated.  I mean, would I tell God, “No, I’m sorry.  I can’t help with the clothing drive, there is a new episode of Castle up on Hulu?”  OK, I might.  But I would feel really guilty about it.  I hope that my children are learning by my example about how important it is to help others.  Also, they are learning that even mommies sometimes do things they don’t really want to do.  And whine about it.  We are all working on whining together (See?  Added bonus of family togetherness!)

The stereotypes – No, I will not be voting for Mitt Romney, I’m not related to Donny Osmond and I am the only wife my husband will ever have (Unless I die an untimely death, in which case; “Go right ahead and date Honey, but know that I will haunt every one of your love interests until they are afraid to come within 20 feet of you.”)  I understand that you saw an HBO special or watched a reality show.  I saw this movie about Catholics and now I realize that all the priests are actually part of some secret society that killed Da Vinci.  (Oh wait, that was fiction?  Oh good, I’d hate to think Tom Hanks really has that awful haircut.)  It is hard to get accurate information about any group of people and then assume you know the individuals, no matter what the source.   Or you know what would be nice?  You could ask me.

HI! Want to talk about extremely
personal things with complete strangers?

That awkward conversation – The truth is that I love my religion and I love to talk about it.  I don’t mind people who are genuinely curious and want to ask me details.  But I know that religion is a touchy subject, and I don’t want to put people off.  So if I seem hesitant to answer questions, it isn’t that you’ve offended me.  It’s that I’m trying to avoid the religious equivalent of getting out my old granny wallet and showing you the pictures of all my grandkids, when all you wanted to know was if I’m allowed to use birth control.  (Answer:  Yes, we just don’t use it very effectively.)

Hell – As in, I don’t think you are going there.  Like most people  I know, my main focus is on relationships; my relationship with God, my relationship with Husband, my relationship with my kids, my relationship with my friends.  I do not lose any sleep worrying about your immortal soul.  I don’t believe any of us has enough information to accurately judge a person’s grocery store purchases, let alone another person’s heart and intentions.  That is way above my pay grade.  If I invite you to church with me it is because I’ve found something that genuinely makes me happy and I’d like to share it with you.