When the lights go out

I've learned that nothing good that ever comes out of a child's mouth after you send him to bed. NOTHING. Something about sitting quietly, probably for the first time all day, that reminds my children of all kinds of things they absolutely must tell mommy right away. But for some reason, it is never something I want to hear - and not just because this is the first second I've had alone all day and you are ruining it, kid!

Let me set the stage. It has been a long day. You have finally managed to find everyone pj's that they are willing to sleep in (NO! I don't want Mario tonight!) Teeth are brushed, prayers are said, stories are read. The lights are dim and it has been peaceful and quiet, going on three minutes now. This is a ploy. Under no circumstances should you believe that you are actually going to have any time to yourself. Do not relax. At exactly 3 minutes and 45 seconds after lights out one of your children will be screaming for you, because they have to tell you something very important. They will scream until you come to the doorway of their room and you will hear:

Most of the time it is routine: "I need a drink." "I'm not sleepy." ect. which I've come to expect and then there are the other ones:

Naturally, there are a lot of "I'm sick." and assorted bodily functions, which I'll spare you.

Of course, the previously posted: "There is a spider in my room."

"I forgot to tell you; last week I kicked a girl in my class in the mouth and made her tooth loose."

"I have to go to the bathroom, and I'm allergic to chalk."

"The baby is awake now."

"I hurt my neck. I DON'T want you to kiss it!"

"I'm afraid of the visions. Of green monsters."

"I need ______(something important and not found in your home) for school tomorrow."

"I peed in your bed."