Complimenting my children (round 2)

Since the last etiquette post, I've heard of quite a few more things you should not say to someone when complimenting their children. (Not all of these are mine, but they deserve repeating) So I'll just add to the list: (for round one, click here)

5 - She isn't for sale. Freak. How is it possible that you think this is an acceptable thing to joke about? "Gee, you know what is really funny? Child-trafficking. haha"

6- You know what else isn't funny? Any kind of reference to pedophilia. EVER. Seriously, dude, I'm about to call the cops.

7 - Again with the swearing. How is it that our society has degenerated to such a point that people don't even realize that the words they are using are offensive? (My friend totally called them on this one - I'm very proud of her.)

8 - I know my kid is cute and has one particularly noticeable feature. Could you please compliment something she has control over? Tell her she has a nice smile, or that she is good at helping mommy with the new baby. . . .she isn't color blind. She KNOWS what color her hair is. But you know what? She would be cute with or without it. Help me out here. Heaven knows she isn't going to get good messages on her self-worth out of magazines.

9 - I'M the mom. Me. Right here. The one with the boobstain. There is no rule that children have to look anything like their parents, biological or otherwise. Oh, you just thought I looked too young to have this many kids these ages? Yes, lady. I am a sixteen-year-old hooker who can't figure out how to use a condom. You are digging yourself into a deeper hole here, just stop.

10 - How hard is it to count to four? Must you point and mouth "one. . . two. . . "? Didn't your mother ever tell you it is rude to point?

11- My baby is going through an EXTREMELY clingy phase right now. Yes, this "phase" has lasted her whole life. That isn't the point. The point is, she isn't going to come to you. Not now, probably not ever. Especially if you insist on being loud and getting in her face. Also that line: "What's the matter? It isn't like I'm going to KILL you!" While staring into my baby's eyes? I wouldn't hand her to you now even if she wanted you. No wonder she is screaming.

Did I miss any? Do you have any more awesome stories about people and their misguided attempts to be nice? I'd love to hear them.