The birds and the bees and the . . . um. . chickens

My oldest is seven, and we haven't had "The Talk" yet.  Every parenting book and bit of advice I've heard says you should wait until the child has questions, and then answer them honestly and simply - making sure you only give as many details as the child is ready to hear.  So it shouldn't be one big talk but several conversations over the years as your child gets more mature and is ready for more information.

I've been anticipating his questions for a while now, trying to be prepared, trying to get comfortable with the idea of discussing intimate things with this being who is a product of my own intimacy.  I'm actually surprised it has taken this long.

See, we have a very inquisitive seven-year-old.  And I've been pregnant most of his life.  So he knows all kinds of things you might not expect him to.  He can tell you that it takes a cell from a mommy and a daddy and that a baby grows in a woman's womb.  He knows how the baby gets out and how it eats.  He can even draw you a diagram and explain why even though I have brown eyes and John has blue eyes only one in four of our children have brown eyes - also, why fifty percent of our children are male and fifty percent are female.  (We are statistically predictable)  But somehow we have never gotten to how the cells get together in the first place.

Well, we hadn't.

So his teacher thinks it would be a good idea if the kids in her class could think, and not just repeat facts to her (I don't know where she gets these crazy ideas).  And so she has been sending home short stories for the children to read with a parent and think of questions and then share during a class discussion.  The most recent story was about chickens.  The farmer gathers the eggs and sells them at the market.  One day a black hen shows up that lays a black egg (magic is afoot). While the farmer is deciding if she should take the egg and sell it or leave the egg and see what hatches we pause to think of questions.

Him:  "Well, I have a question."

Me:  "OK."

Him:  "If the egg is already in the shell when the hen lays it, how does a cell from the rooster get inside the egg?"

Me:  "Well, that happens inside the hen's body, when the egg is being made."

Him:  "How does a cell from a rooster get inside a hen's body?"

OK, I think to myself,  I guess we are doing this here and now.  But I'm stumped.  I want to be all clear and calm and matter of fact, but I have no knowledge of the mating habits of chickens.  I mean - I can guess - it can't be that complicated - but I don't even know the words - does a cock have a cock?  (Yes, underneath all this sophisticated veneer, I'm actually thirteen years old and laughing at all the inappropriate places.)

So I tell him I'm not sure what the words are for chickens.  He assures me that the people words will do just fine.  I give him a two sentence sex talk.  He nods and we go back to the story.  It was a magic egg, a little elf thing hatches out.

I'm kind of blown away.  That was IT?  I've been waiting for this question for years, and we discuss it over chickens and he doesn't even blink?  I wanted to call him back and tell him all of the other things, like please don't bring this up to the next door neighbor in church, and you know you can always come to me with questions, blah, blah, blah.

And then I realize, this is exactly how it is supposed to work.  Information in bite size pieces that fit in with your everyday life.  This was sex talk number 1 out of 7,549; nothing to get all worked up about.  Kind of like sex itself.  Just another part of life that you talk about when it is appropriate and go back to magic chickens when its not.